One of the things all trans people look forward to and celebrate are what we call gender affirming moments, little things that happen during the day that make us feel like we truly belong in our true gender and that others accept us without question. One such moment for me came about a year and half after my surgery. The event that precipitated this moment was losing my virginity, which is a whole story in and of itself, and yes, I did remain a virgin until after my surgery – before then I could not stand the thought of using my birth genitals.

So without going into details of the main event, which happened on a Friday night at a large pagan fesitval, the next Monday I went in to work as usual. Well, not exactly as usual. I was feeling on top of the world! I’d had sex for the first time in my life and with a very handsome man who made me feel absolutely wonderful about myself.

At the time I worked in the offices of a large domestic violence shelter, a place where all the employees were women. I walked in and said good morning to everyone, and they all looked at me and one of them said “Well, someone had sex this weekend!” I was stunned and started stammering. I asked how she could tell, and she said that I was glowing and that it was just obvious from looking at me. Everyone else laughed and nodded and I must have turned beet red, but I confirmed it and even said it was my first time ever, which took people by surprise but everyone was so happy for me.

And that little moment of recognition of one woman by another sent my mood soaring even higher than before. Little moments like that stick out in the minds of trans people and let us know that we are doing the right thing. Being recognized and seen by others as the person you truly are is such an amazing experience and I hope everyone can have that in their lives, whether they are trans or not.